Coaching For Perfectionism
Are you a perfectionist?
Are you always striving to be the best, to get everything right to be perfect?
Are you tired yet?
When we are always striving for perfection we are constantly noticing what we could have done better and not what went well.
We stop enjoying the process and start getting hung up on what the process means about us.
Tearing down any self-esteem that we do have. We give up on things if it isn’t perfect, we stress ourselves out about things that truly don’t matter.
All in the name of hustling to be ‘good enough’ by standards we set that are way too high for our wellbeing! Standards that are really about us avoiding our insecurities and not about us being our best self.
Giving up perfection isn’t about settling for a low standard, it's about appreciating yourself regardless of what standards you meet. It's about stopping the striving and hustling and addressing what is really important to you when your insecurities aren’t running the show.
As a recovering perfectionist, I know how hard it is to stand there and own your insecurities, flaws and the impact you have on others when you disappoint them. I also know how freeing it is to accept yourself as you are, to reduce the striving for approval and validation and instead of focusing on getting everything right focusing on what you want out of life.
The amount of energy you have left over to enjoy life when you aren’t striving for something that is unattainable is exceptional, its pretty liberating.
Ok so how to start doing, I recommend reading the four agreements and focusing on the agreement always do your best, it describes how to do your best but also be fluid about what the measure of that is on any given day.
I also practice noticing when I am gone into hustle mode, that shows itself to me when I am stressed about things that really don’t matter or I am taking on way too much! Hustling has this proving myself feeling and defiantly doesn’t feel empowered and in the flow.
Perfectionism comes from a lack of self-acceptance and self-love, it comes from a deep belief if I do better people will love me. The thing is I see it as an addiction because the more I do, the more I feel should be doing.
I sacrifice my wellbeing and happiness to get some sort of validation based on what I do rather than who I am. We have to shut that thinking down and replace it with thoughts of worthiness and self-validation.
I believe kindness directed inwards is a great way to get off the perfectionist train and becoming your own best friend. Only allowing loving supportive and helpful thoughts to be acted upon.
Practicing compassion and kindness directed inwards is a great way to lessen the grip of perfection. So is not engaging in a competitive way with yourself or others.
Powerfully choosing to be around people that support and appreciate you for you rather than what you do can be another powerful way to shift out of perfectionist mode.
Bringing lots of gentleness into your daily life will make a big difference.
So over to you, what do you suggest to do to help with perfectionism? Write it in the comments below!