Why Fitting in really doesn't work!
I have to share this!! Its handy for anyone who gets anxious in social situations, never felt like they 'fitted in' or compares themselves to everyone else, Brené Brow has this Authenticity Manifesto that is POWERFUL!
"Just show up, let myself be seen, don't shrink, don't puff, just be me"
If the AIM is to show up & be yourself, you will leave every situation feeling complete and valuable. Whether or not the situation is for you or the people 'get you'.
Its no longer about what others think of you or how well you blend or stand out. The focus becomes how you feel and honoring your truth.
How I use it is this, I wrote a list of all the places & times I find myself shrinking or over inflating.
I take a quick look and ask myself why in this situation?
Then I wrote these words on a piece of paper, took a picture on my camera and the next time I am heading to these situations, I read this and take a few deep breaths.
During the situations (networking events, nights out, meeting new clients, on dates, in relationships, difficult conversations, when my insecurities are flaming) I practice being authentic using this little mantra as a reminder of my aim, focus and intention.
Whats really cool, is people tend to connect much better with me when I am real, over when I am trying to fit what I think they think I need to be. ( thinking for others never works by the way but thats for another blog post!)
So why not try it?? So let me break it down so it makes sense...
Show up = Turn up to the event, conversation, relationship, step forward ...
Let myself be seen = Engage with it, not just be there, talk, share, express ...
Don't shrink = Don't agree with people for the sake of it, don't play yourself down, don't hide behind bigger personalities, don't avoid your quilties ..
Don't puff = Don't quote your qualifications or achievements unless required, don't brag for the sake of it, see everyone as equal, don't try and portray yourself in a certain light
Be myself = speak like you would to your best friend, be the realest version of you.
Here are the benefits to this practice!
- Feeling good enough
- Staying self focused
- Enjoying things more
- Reduced anxiety
- Making real connections
- Being present
- Less self doubt
- Less worry
- Less comparing
- More self-care
- More intuition
- More Self love
- Real authentic long lasting changes
I think that is a pretty good list to at least try this right??!!??
So where and when can you try this next??